Word Vomit

its become stronger now,

what started off as a whisper in the farr side of my brain has become a loud cry.

ive started to mouth the words and silently spill it out, as if im technically not lying cause no one hopefully can hear me say it.

sadly, i know this is a lie and what im doing isnt right.

but i cant help it, I long to be able to just scream it out to EVeryone! Just SHOUT and not care whos listening, i dream of it, always thinking about it.. But now i actually Spoke it.. theres always a moment where its needed,, where it can cover a million different areas.. Its such a powerful thing! its such a Thrill its just what i need to get my point across.. i want to do it more as if its my new shiny toy. the more i think about it the more appealing it is...

its now spilling out of my mouth on so many occasions as if its neverending Word Vomit.. i dont know how much longer i can stay without this for.. i dont know how to not let it take over like a Flame to paper its spreading more and more with each minute..

but i must come up with a way..

before these meaningless words take over and win...

xox

Goodbye my Dear,

its been three weeks and i havent heard from you, i pace around all day long waiting for a reply from you. your in my mind all the time, everything reminds me of you.. so Many happy memories have made me depressed, all our talks have made me feel so much regret. So many questions run through my mind was it me or you? i try not to care but its no good, my feelings had been struck i let my guard down and got attached something i promised myself i wouldnt do. Now im stuck with the Mess of picking myself up and starting again.. why couldnt you just Say goodbye?why did you have to make me think and believe your Lie?? i guess im just not the Right type, or the right anything,, i should of just walked away instead of thinking there was something... that you never saw.. Did you feel it?? did you like it? are you thinking about it now?? so many questions, sadly i dont think is true..

but for now, to save me all these painful moments of wishing, wondering and hoping ,, i will do the thing you should of done. I will simply Try to move on and forget. like you are a distant memory ,, so far behind me i cant reach it or remember it..

So good bye my Dear,,

xox

its been three weeks and i havent heard from you, i pace around all day long waiting for a reply from you. your in my mind all the time, everything reminds me of you.. so Many happy memories have made me depressed, all our talks have made me feel so much regret. So many questions run through my mind was it me or you? i try not to care but its no good, my feelings had been struck i let my guard down and got attached something i promised myself i wouldnt do. Now im stuck with the Mess of picking myself up and starting again.. why couldnt you just Say goodbye?why did you have to make me think and believe your Lie?? i guess im just not the Right type, or the right anything,, i should of just walked away instead of thinking there was something... something more. something brilliant.. it cant be possible for you went back,, were you ever gonna tell me?

for now, to save me all these painful moments of wishing, wondering and hoping ,, i will do the thing you should of done. I will simply Try to move on and forget. like you are a distant memory ,, so far behind me i cant reach it or remember it..

So good bye my Dear,,

xox

Positiveness.

"her aura was negative, the circle was tainted, i didn't wanna know her".

it seems this world is full of people that are miserable,

they have no direction, its like positiveness has left them ages before.

and they cant seem to or don't want to get it back.

have we lost the ability to be happy? to look at the bright side of things?

don't we know how to do that anymore?

this world is so beautiful, theres so many things we should be thankful for.

how can we be miserable when everything is unfathomable in life.

everything small and fragile we miss, everything we over look and over use we never see what its worth. we just think its not important.

are we not thankful that we have it in the first place?

should we not love having the privilege to breathe? and to be alive,, to do everything a human can ever dream to do.. shouldn't it be enough to be happy??

its saddening to know that this world is like this..

is life that hard that theres no use in smiling anymore?

or thinking and breathing in your surroundings.. ?

like an intense breath so that you dont over look whats infront of you, you actually focus in and study it til you appreciate it?

have we lost the gift of positiveness??

xox